My Weekend with Coffee

Needless to say, the themes of my weekend have revolved around coffee incidents. All things I needed to approach or deal with in my life involved coffee.

Allow me to deconstruct. 3 instances to be exact.

Instance #1: No! Just, No!

There is a boy, let's call him Ken. This boy and I have an interesting "friendship". We both started to get involved with one another while he was seeing a girl. I figured dating is dating and it is not exclusive, right? What is the harm in having fun, keeping it casual and figuring out the mess later? Well, much to his dismay - he could not hide the relationship that they got involved into from me. Facebook is good for some things. They are still in their respected relationship. He still contacts me, he would cheat on her, yes and he reaches out to me when there is a void of his for attention. I like it when he says things such as "You are one of my best friends" and "I really care about you". I let myself believe these things, because it is a silly girl's attempt at trying to believe in something that doesn't exist. During the day this past Saturday, I allowed myself to engage in a texting conversation with this man (technology has severely sabotaged and confused dating and relationships). The conversation went further than appropriate. I was sitting on my couch about to drink coffee, watch mindless movies and write some nonsense. I should not have been having this conversation with Ken. However, I was intrigued. Guess I wanted some attention as well. For some reason, I believed that a full cup of coffee placed on the couch cushion next to me would behave for a moment. Yeah, not so much. Not a moment later, it leaned its hot contents onto the left side of my lower body. Scalding burn. Awesome. Perhaps I should have taken that as a hint to cease everything I was doing. Nope, I saw it as an opportunity for Ken to help me out with it. AND I know this situation. I have been in this situation before, I knew what I was getting myself into. When men come over it is never to JUST watch a movie or have a drink (But let me give props to the REAL gentlemen that bring soup to sick girls). I wanted Ken too, that was the truth. Didn't feel guilty - felt justified. It is not right, I know. It just is. We had our special time and then it was back to work and a dinner I had to attend. Plain and simple. It was just wrong. Bad, bad decision. My coffee was trying to tell me something. No, Just no.

Instance #2: Just Laugh

As a bartender, I have some insanely awesome service industry regulars. Regulars that make me feel awesome as a person and for the job that we all do. We are there to serve people and at the end of the day we serve one another as friends over drinks, stories and laughter. These moments are the moments that get me through the week. These boys really took me by surprise last night. They essentially convinced my co-worker to let me leave with them and for him to close up alone. However they did it - they are geniuses. These boys kidnapped me to go I-Hop for some breakfast. We had our breakfast and our coffee. Laughing over everything and nothing all at once. I forgot how great it feels to laugh at nothing. A simple, simple joy in life that we take for granted. My coffee was hugging me in this moment. We laughed in waves. Over and over, one laugh crashing on top of the other.

Instance #3: Okay, I Get It

Finally peeling myself away from my bed this morning -- I made coffee. I spent more time than I'd like to admit with headphones in my ears, listening to music, zoning out and contemplating Ken, last nights laughter, my upcoming birthday, how cute my cats look cuddling and even more ridiculous nonsense. I fill my cup. Sit on my couch with my legs crossed. Set the coffee on the ground, not on the couch (I should really invest in a coffee table) and my laptop by my side. I am prepared to write. I uncross my legs to get up for something -- and right now, for the life of me, I cannot recall what I had to get up for. My left heel lands in the coffee mug. Joy. I immediately laugh at myself and then I get it. I shake my head and laugh at myself for all the things I was thinking of in that moment that don't matter. For all the time I was wasting on contemplating Ken. I cleaned up my mess, opened my computer and knew exactly what I had to write about. My weekend with coffee.

Think about it. All the different conversations, thoughts, things said, things not said, stories told....all the moments that occur over coffee. If my coffee cup could tell some stories -- It would probably tell me that I need to find a safe, secure, stable place to put my cup right now. To take care of my cup and in return it won't stain my carpets or burn my skin. Alright cup, here is to better days.