Pursuit of Happiness

You are absolutely right. You do choose similar girls. Note that I am using the term girl. That was my large observation in your book We're Just Not There Yet. The girls you describe are all the same. I can identify with that girl, because I lived and learned from it. Granted, I got a chuckle out of some of the types of behavior I may have exhibited at one time. Now, a few years older, I can look back and identify my foolishness. Hindsight being 20/20 and all. However, the naked photos? Not so much. But I smiled, because I knew exactly what type of females you were talking about. That was an example where judging a book from its cover was appropriate. And what did you expect? You were at a promo event, where girls are hired because of their physical appearance. Of course they know they're hot – they make sure their phones know it too.

You missed out on describing what happens in a relationship with a woman. What about the woman who is self-sufficient, independent, happy, has friends, a good family and morals? Of course she is tied up with some baggage like the rest of us. But she has lived and learned from her choices by overcoming whatever happened. She no longer mentions her ex-boyfriends by their first name and she likes to do her own thing, without you. A woman who is modest and content. One that continues to try new things and have a good time. There would be things to complain about, but silly things - she forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste. You know why people don't like this? Because it is boring and safe. It is comforting. There is no drama flag waving in the air. No caution lights or sirens blaring. Just a simple, available woman.

The girl you describe in the book is gorgeous, but somehow has this bubble or aura of drama surrounding herself. A red flag that guys should pick up on. I know this, because we have the same radar on guys. For example, if a guy comes off too desperate or too reliable on his mother. The drama flag that most are quick to bypass, because their looks are so devastatingly distracting. Any woman that looks so well put together all the time has something to hide. Whatever happened to the sexiness in simplicity? A female that wakes up, puts her hair in a pony tail, no make up, just jeans and a t-shirt and runs out for coffee. AND she isn't overweight. There is something to be said bout the sexiness of someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Whether it be a man or a woman. Nothing is more attractive than a person with confidence and of course – an open minded sense of humor. Nothing kills a party quicker than a close minded opinionated individual. But if they can bypass my incessant question asking – then right on. They are knowledgeable about their bitterness.

I'll grant you the whole getting married thing. Why would people enter into something that only has a 50% shot of making it out of the ball park? What about the notion of not getting married? It always seems to get brought up that the once you get married then boom, bang! – End of the race. I'm a woman that knows I don't wish to get married. For many of the same reasons that were previously mentioned in your book. My parents are still happily married, 35 years strong. My brother is happily married as well. Nothing in my past points towards holding a grudge against marriage. I support it for those who think it is right for themselves. But marriage is not the only journey to seek when dating; Happiness is.

What about the pursuit of happiness? Finding that happy balance of being with someone you want to be with. Someone you genuinely support and they support you as well. To get your happy glands off on just being. Relationships are so concentrated on where is this all going. I don't see the rush in the race. You'll know when you get to the end, because you'll be dead. It's life – it keeps going..or shall I quote Emerson – “It goes on”. There is no finish line – the finish line is your funeral. Might as well make the most of your marathon while you're going. Run into some things, run out of some things, walk off the beaten path, sleep longer than you should, sleep not enough for moments of brilliance, take your sweet time, but know that you are using your time – your genuine, wonderful time doing whatever the hell it is that makes you happy. And if you are fortunate enough – you find someone to be with that makes your time that much sweeter.

I really did appreciate the book. I read it all within the first 24 hours of possessing it. Well written, honest, and witty. I do have to say thanks for writing, for taking the time to compose such thoughts that men have. To having an opinion and articulating it in a whole book and maintaining your thoughts in a blog. That much dedication is far more ambitious and knowledgeable than this cheap, short-lived response. However, your opinion did get me to lift my writer's block for just a brief moment to contemplate your thoughts. It is true that men gossip just as much as women. There is no reason the conversation of the dichotomy between men and women in relationships shouldn't be discussed. Thank you for passing the ball back.